Thoughts on a Friday

I feel like I haven’t been able to catch my balance all week. We’ve begun renovations on our basement, our entire house is covered in gyproc dust and cleaning has been futile, we’ve had company stay with us the past few nights, and at work I’ve been pulled in 100 different directions and feeling like I haven’t accomplished much. So, instead of a “What to Buy During the Sephora VIB Sale” post (VIBs get 15% off with the code VIBSPRING), here’s a bunch of random thoughts that have crossed my mind lately. You’re welcome.

One from our honeymoon (Gulfport, Florida)
– The Tim Horton’s Drive Thru; When you order chili, why must they put the little butters in the bag with it? Its always melted when I get home.
– I read all the pregnancy posts. You would think that these things would not interest me, because I am in no way wanting to procreate any time soon. But nope, I love the bumpdates, the nursery posts, and the must have lists. Perhaps they’re preparing me for the future, but mostly I’m just educating myself on what to buy for baby showers.
– Why is writing Thank You cards so hard? I’m the worst bride ever. 7 months later, and they’re still not all out. Do not be like me. Be better than me.
– I really need to start using my slow cooker. It would help with my #goals.
– How does everyone get those nice shots from above them? I’m seriously asking. All I get is a whole lot of selfie arm.
– Why does weight loss need to be so hard? And why does it take so damn long?
– I had to go buy more hangers at Walmart again. Who knew we had so much clothes? I guess we’ve never hit Laundry Zero before. I’m such a good housewife.
–  Why must Netflix create shows that are so addicting that you basically get sucked into a black hole? Here’s looking at you 13 Reasons Why.
– Why must this province have a Shop Closing Act? Seriously, it makes being productive on long weekends very difficult. I mean, everything was closed Friday and Sunday this past weekend,it makes doing a basement renovation during our days off a challenge.
– Why is my husband so resistant to doing a reclaimed lumber wall in our basement? I thought reclaimed lumber was the dream of all rugged men.
– How can I get paid to vacation? Because our honeymoon was freaking awesome.
Okay, so I’ll definitely be ordering my favourite foundation during the sale. But, that’s probably all, because budget. What’s on your mind lately? 
Did you take advantage of the VIB Sale?

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Just stuff

Photo by Candace Kennedy

– Our wedding photos are supposed to take 8 – 12 weeks. We just passed the two month mark. And I’m pretty much dying for the next 4 weeks to pass so I can get my hands on them. The sneak peaks were awesome.

– My excitement over my thank you cards makes me want to do holiday cards. But that requires us getting “family photos” taken. And I’ve kinda let myself go since the wedding, and I feel fat. So maybe next year?

– Jeff and I are finally getting to work on “finishing” our basement. One room at a time. Which means that three years from now we may still be talking about it. But, first on the list, which will definitely see some real progress in the next few months, is our laundry room. You know you’re an adult when laundry rooms excite you. But basically, I’m dying to have a clean, organized (and pretty, sorry Jeff) space to sort and wash all of the things. Its not going to be the largest room, and its going to double as a mudroom so we are definitely going to have to get creative about keeping it bright, and open and still have lots of storage and function. This one from iHeartOrganizing is kind of my inspiration.

– We get maybe 10-15 trick or treaters. So Halloween isn’t really an exciting time around here. I have zero decorations up. This year I planned to get out of the house during the trick or treating and I didn’t have any candy picked up. My plans fell through so I had to ask Jeff to buy some goodies for him. I reminded him that we didn’t need much, just enough to not have to turn off all of the lights and hide when kids came up the driveway. I came home from work to find four boxes. My waistline is not impressed.

– Have you seen the new show, Pitch? If not, and you like sports even the slightest bit, or even if you don’t, you should check it out. Sooooo good.

– Thanks to this post by Karli, I decided to order our wedding thank you cards from Minted. And you guys, I’m soooo freakin’ excited for them to get here. Fingers crossed they turn out as awesome as I expect.

– I used to love when Jeff worked night shifts. It was a great time to catch up on all my girly shows, and be lazy. These days though, I’d gladly give up the shows, for evenings doing anything at all with him. Basically our love is pretty gross right 

– I’m a sucker for most things plaid. I NEED to own these. Seriously, Jeff, if you’re reading this, I’ll take a pair for Christmas. Size 8.

End of ramble. 

Flying High While Flying High

I’m a nervous flyer. 
I haven’t always been.
In fact, in the beginning, when I was a child and teenager I loved it. 
I’m not sure when exactly the change began to happen since its been kind of gradual.
I’m not sure why either.
I suppose I’ve been on some truly rough flights over the years. One of those being kind of traumatizing.
Or perhaps it’s because the older I get the more I think about mortality.
Death causes me great anxiety. 
The past year or so I’ve been having mini panic attacks about it, sometimes frequently. I attribute the beginning of those attacks to following the Brittany Maynard story. I believe in someone’s right to die with dignity, I just can’t imagine choosing it. 
Ever since she ended her life, and my anxiety about death began, my fear of flying has become significantly worst. Every time I get on a plane I’m struggling more and more to hold it together. 
The entire time I’m on a plane I’m evaluating the sounds of the engines, my fingers are griping the seat every time the plane moves. If it gains or loses altitude I panic and wonder what’s wrong. And if there is turbulence I’m a wreck. It’s basically a flight long panic attack. 
Last Tuesday Jeff decided to drive the 22 hours to Labrador City to spend a week with his family. A day later Jeffs family invited me to join them for the weekend. They booked me a flight for Friday after work (thanks Mark). I’d never been to Lab City before, and I love Jeffs family, so I was excited. But that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. Id have to get on a plane. Alone. With no one to distract me or hold my hand. 
I wasn’t sure how I would survive the two flights to get there. So, I acquired some Ativan, just in case I needed it.
I hadn’t planned to take a pill. Unless I got on the plan and the panic consumed me and I had no other alternative. But, work was super busy, I was stressed the entire day. I never left work on time, and was convinced I would miss my flight. By the time I made it through security (after being randomly selected for a wand scan and a trip through the full body scanner) I was just a little on edge. And no amount of breaths could make it go away.
So I stuck the little pill under my tongue and prayed it worked and that I wouldn’t have any terrible side effects.
I’m writing this from the plane. So the verdict is still out until my second flight lands. But so far so good. The thoughts about why the plane is bouncing around, or losing or gaining altitude are still there, but no feelings of my stomach in my throat.
In the past I would never have been able to sit here and concentrate on writing this. And I never would have been able to take a minute to enjoy watching as we flew over Cow Head and Shallow Bay. 

Look at those sandy beaches, too bad the water is never warm.
Update: Landing in Goose Bay was a piece of cake. Taking off out of there wasn’t too bad either. I had a few nervous moments, but they were mild compared to what they would have  been. I made it the entire way to Wabush without any real moments of anxiety and it was such a relief. 

About the Rules

JW is gone for a ride on his new Ski-doo to try out the GoPro I gave him for Christmas. I’m catching up on Pretty Little Liars and Younger. Seems like as good a time as any to let my fingers dance on the keyboard.

I keep promising myself that I’ll be a better blogger. That I’ll post more frequently. I keep promising that to you too. But it never happens.

Truth is that I’m not overly comfortable working on the blog when JW is around.

Its not that I’ve hidden its existence from him. But the blogosphere is a world he doesn’t really understand. And its hard to explain it to him I guess.

I keep telling myself that I’ll write when I’m home alone. But that time alone rarely happens outside of his night shifts. And when I sit down to write, I realize I don’t have any pictures worth posting. Its dark when I leave for work, the sun sets not long after I get home. And you can’t take blog photos at night. So what’s the point of writing anything if I have no picture to go along with it. Because as per “blog rules” you can’t have a post that’s all words.

Which is kinda bullshit. I mean I get that pretty pictures make things more interesting. But sometimes there just aren’t any pictures that complement the text. And sometimes you look like shit in all the pictures you took. And sometimes you haven’t taken any photos at all. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say the things you have to say. Does it?

Here’s the deal. I miss this place. I want to be present here more often. So here’s to writing more. Even when JW is home.  Attempting to take more pictures. And to posts without pictures if necessary.

I’m raising my glass bottle, to breaking the rules sometimes.

The About Me Tag

Guys, Fall is here. And its killing me, seriously. August was just such a stellar month when it came to the weather. All of my friends were complaining about the heat, and I was relishing it. 

Its as if Mother Nature hasn’t a care in the world that Autumn doesn’t officially start until the 21st. She sent brutally cold temperatures the very first day of the month, and today its even colder. I mean its so cold that the boyfriend mentioned lighting our wood stove last evening. I am just not ready for that yet.

With all of that said, there are two things about the season I won’t complain about.

1) Not sweating to death in my blazers at work, while also not having to deal with air conditioning.

2) Fall make up. Hello to all the darker lipsticks.

Blazer: Zara (similar) // Top: Jacob (old) // Jeans: Silver (similar)
Shoes: Call It Spring (similar) // Bag: Coach (similar) //  Lip Color: Maybelline 440 Mauve It Up

But enough about Fall. One of my favorite bloggers, Patricia, did an about me post yesterday on her Youtube channel, and I decided to play along. In picture and text format of course, I’m too camera shy for videos. It’s pretty basic, but its fun, and you guys should join in.

1. Do you have a middle name?
I do, its Kathryn. It’s my first name that you guys don’t know.

2. What was your favorite subject in school?
Phys Ed? That a typical answer though right? Hmm, perhaps English. Since I love to read.

3. What’s your favorite drink?
Pepsi. Which is why my jeans are tight.

4. What’s your favorite song at the moment?
Sparks by Hilary Duff

5. What would you name your kids?
Gosh, my list of names changes monthly. I don`t even know right now.

6. Do you participate in any sports?
I do! Rowing. Its great.

7. Favorite book?
Ever? Geez. I love so many books, I can’t even pick.

8. Favorite color?
If my closet is any indication, black.

9. Favorite animal?
When I was a kid I would have definitely answered cats. Now, I’m really not an animal person. Koala’s are cute though.

10. Favorite perfume?
I’ve been wearing one by Paris Hilton since high school, but I recently bought Dolce by Dolce & Gabbana and I love it.

11. Favorite Holiday?
Christmas. Hands down. No others compare.

12. Have you graduated high school?
10 years ago this past May. Holy crap.

13.Have you ever been out of the country? If so, how many times?
Yes! I love to travel. I’ve been outside Canada seven times.

14. Can you speak any other language?
Not fluently. 

15. How many siblings do you have?
Just one, a younger brother.

16. What is your favorite store?
Target. Shocker I know. It kills me that we don’t have it in Canada anymore.

17. Favorite restaurant?
Piatto Pizzeria in St. John’s, NL. The food is delicious and it doesn’t take very long to receive your order.

18.Did you like school?
Not particularly at the time. Yet I seem to keep wanting to take more university courses.

19. Favorite Youtuber?
Patricia B

20. Favorite movie?
Top Gun

21. Favorite TV show?
This one is hard. I like so many. But pretty much anything Shonda Rhimes is producing. Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder.

22. PC or Mac?
I’ve only ever used a PC.

23. What phone do you have?
iPhone 5s. I`d love to upgrade, but they`re just so darn expensive.

24. How tall are you?
5ft 6in. So pretty average.
You should play along too. 

PS. I can’t be the only one wishing summer would last a little longer.
Are you happy about Autumn? 

It Was a Good One

Are weekend recaps still a thing in Blogland??

If not…well, I don’t really care, I’m going to do one anyways, even if it is Tuesday.

July was pretty much everything you fear summer will turn out to be. Cold, damp and cloudy. We lit the wood stove in the house on at least five evenings. It was miserable.

August however, well, I can’t complain at all about August. It has been fabulous. The sun has been shining and the temperatures have been in the high 20s-30s the entire month. It has made for some wonderful weekends. This past one was no exception.

J.W.’s brother and sister-in-law were in town for a wedding and we were lucky enough to have them stay with us for a few nights. It’s the first time they’ve visited since we renovated, so we relished the opportunity to show off all the awesome additions to the backyard Friday evening. We had a little pizza party, sipped on a few cold ones, and finished the night off with a fire.

Saturday morning was spent soaking up the suns rays on the back deck before heading out to my favorite new place, Harbour Grounds, for a delicious lunch on their deck. 

That afternoon JDubs helped a friend do a few bathroom renovations, and I enjoyed the time alone with my nose in a book. It wasn’t the most exciting afternoon, but we made up for it that evening by having a few friends over for more pizzas and another fire, with smores of course.

We had planned to hike Man in the Mountain Sunday morning, but mother nature had other plans, and so did Zana’s hangover. 

Torrential rain or not, J.W. and I are not one’s to waste the few weekend days he has off work, so we headed out on an “adventure”. We hit the highway with a Tim’s in our hand as we headed off for quite possibly our most random drive yet. 

We spend the afternoon exploring an abandoned American Air Force base and an abandoned paper mill in Stephenville. I’ve always been fascinated by abandoned buildings, and was pleasantly surprised to find that J.W. is too.  Since it was nearby J.W. also took me to Barachois Pond park where his family used to spend a lot of time camping when he was a child. It was everything I imagined it would be and more. Lovely wooded lots, play grounds on every loop, and beautiful beaches. A weekend their is on my to-do list for next summer. Its never too early to start planning, right? 

I finished off the weekend by drafting the worst team in the history of ever for the 3rd Annual All Girls Fantasy Football league. Beers were needed, profanity was used, and everyone around me was thoroughly entertained.
Hope you all had a fantastic weekend too!

Because This Thursday Feels Like A Monday

Shameless summer selfie. Hat:Le Chateau, Shirt: Garage, Sunnies: Aldo similar 


Binge Watching – Orange is the New Black Season 3 and Chasing Life

Craving – Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.  Even though its still very much summer here all of the “fall is almost here” blog posts I have been reading have me reminiscing about that time my little city had its very own Starbucks. #BooOnYouTargetCanada for taking it away. #sadface

DIYing – Sewing pillow covers to jazz up my living room.

Planning – A trip to Florida for next March. Anyone have any tips for doing Orlando/Disney/Daytona on a budget? p.s. We might be heading their during #daytonabikeweek.

Listening to –This song by JoJo. Its been a long decade without her. 

Reading – I just finished reading 99 Days by Katie Cotugno. Its the first book I’ve really read in more than a year, and it was just what I needed. I read the entire thing in one night. #notjoking

Doing – Cleaning the house so that it looks presentable when J.W.’s brother and sister-in-law show up tomorrow. Procrastination at its finest people.

Wanting – new jeans. I’ve got maybe 15lbs on since Christmas…oops…and I’m down to one pair of jeans that fit. But I’m basically refusing to buy a size up. So maybe what I’m really wanting is to lose those pounds and fit into all of the clothes I already own.

Pinning – A lot of work appropriate fall outfits that will look great outside of the office.

Wearing – Sleeveless blouses. Everyday. Its just to warm and sticky for anything with sleeves. I will not risk the sweat stains.

Writing – A bunch of halfway there posts for this place.

Needing – for this summer to last just a little bit longer. And to drink more water and exercise a little more.

Loving – Life. Seriously. It is sooo good.

While I Was Away

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve checked in around here. Its not that I lost that lovin’ feeling for this place, its just that things have been so crazy lately, and mostly with things I haven’t been able to tell you all about. Not being able to talk about the things going on in my life has made it hard to get those creative juices flowing, but I’m working through it.

So instead of getting into a long soliloquy about why I’ve been away so long, lets just get caught up.

Here’s whats you’ve missed while I was away…

– My grandma had her 90th birthday, and we had a huge celebration with all her family and friends.

– JW and I went on our first vacation together.

– My bff got married

– Jay Dubs and I moved in together.

– We renovated the house.

– And decked out the back yard.

– I helped Erika throw the cutest baby shower.

– And learned to sew…kind of.

– We built a wood fire pizza oven.

And I learned that happiness really is a way of life, not a destination.

I can’t wait to get back into the swing of things around here!

Sunday’s, Blizzards, and Sea Ice

I’m lying in bed right now. The only light in the room comes from the glow of my iPhone. The windy is whistling outside as snow beats against the windows. I’m bunkered down for a long winter nap.

It’s Sunday night, and I should be asleep, but I’m not ready to give in. Sunday nights I always feel the need to be productive. Laundry gets done, rooms get tidied, and blog posts get written (whether or not they see the light of day is another matter for another day). I’m not sure if this urge comes from panic, that things I’ve put off all weekend need to get done, or if I’m trying to distract myself from the reality that bright and early the next day I’ll be back at the grind. 
Right now there’s a blizzard happening outside, and I’m hoping it lasts well into tomorrow, but I know it will have subsided by the time I have to get up. But a girl can dream can’t she. 
I’d love a snow day with J.W. We haven’t had one together yet. Laziness on the couch, hot chocolate, Netflix marathons, tournaments of Phase 10, it all sounds a little wonderful. Except snow days are few and far between for me, and he’s out of town anyways.

We spent another great weekend at the cabin with my parents. We got up early and headed back to town today so J.W. could go on his annual snowmobile trip with his friends. Early rises on Sunday’s are not how we roll, and the drive back seemed longer than ever. We were cold and tired, but we made the best of it by stopping and taking some pictures of the ice along the shoreline. We’ve been admiring the way it has pushed towards shore and piled up. I’m over winter but I’ve got to admit that there’s something beautiful about it.

But I’m going to stop rambling now. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend!

Its Been A While…

Let’s talk blogging, or at least the lack of it that has been happening around these parts for the past few months.

For most of 2014 I lost my motivation to put much effort into writing. I tried to push through, I really did, but in the end this place was basically abandoned. I thought about it often, daily even, but I guess I just didn’t care enough to clean up the cobwebs growing in the corners around here.

Twenty Fourteen was a mess of a year. There were certainly some good points, I got to throw Sarah a bachelorette party, stand by her side as she got married, visit Megan in Edmonton, and met an awesome guy. But as many highs as there were, there were substantially more lows. J screwed with my life again (and I let him), and after that I kind of spiraled, not in a drugs and alcohol sort of way, but I was being destructive when it came to my friendships. I did things and acted in ways that I am extremely not proud of, regretful and embarrassed about.

So, when my poor choices finally caught up to me, things were a little dark for a while and somedays (most days) I’m still dealing with that.

This past year I also became very frustrated with the progress (or lack there of) I was making around here. I put too much importance on the number of page views and followers I had and I got frustrated that this place didn’t become popular quickly like other blogs. I forgot about why I started this blog in the first place; to document and share my likes, wants, thoughts and experiences with others.

You’ll see a lot of new changes around here in the next while. New name, new design (I’m hoping to work with Erin from Two Thirds Hazel) and a lot more consistency from me. I want to get back to loving this place.

It may take me a little while to get back on track, but I hope you’ll stick around. Seriously, things can only get better from here.