A Lesson in Christmas Gifts for All the Boyfriends Out There

We’ve all dated that guy. You know, the one who insists he has “no clue” what to get you for Christmas. And its not because you haven’t dropped enough hints. He’s just lazy and doesn’t want to have to put any thought in to it. But then when you ask for new shoes, he says you already have enough of those.

So just in case there’s a few guys coming around here I’ve compiled some helpful information for holiday gift buying.

– For the love of all that is holy, do not, I repeat do not ask her what she wants. Like ever. Unless you’d like to be broken up before the holidays.

– We talk about the things we want 24/7, is it really that hard to pay attention even a little bit?

– Gift cards or cash is not acceptable. Ever. That is just lazy. Unless of course you’re sending her for a spa day with three of her closest friends and picking up the tab.

– Unless she explicitly asks for something specific, never ever ever buy her products for the kitchen. Its emotionless, and thoughtless, and implies she belongs there. Unless of course its an awesome blender for making alcoholic bevies, like perhaps a Margaritaville.

– Promise rings. First of all, who over the age of 16 even know these things exist anymore. And we all know teenage boys just use these things to get into a girl’s pants. Second, unless your actually planning to put an engagement ring on finger in less than 60 days, these things are just a rude tease. They are not to be used as a way to get her to stop thinking about (and stop hinting for) a diamond.

– Just because she needs something, or even wants something, doesn’t mean she wants it from you for Christmas or any other special occasion. That sat nav she needs for her car, yeah, that’s only acceptable as a “just because” gift.

– If all of her current jewelry is silver, its best to steer clear of the gold counter. Choose wrong and it will show you don’t pay attention or don’t actually care about her preferences.

– Stay away from clothes. Yes, that includes lingerie. More often than not, you’ll buy something that’s too big, and we all know what argument that is going to start.

– Stuffed animals are not cool dude, not cool. Unless of course it talks and says, “Will You Marry Me?”

– Anything in a ring sized box is just out of the question. Re-box those earrings man.

I’ll leave you with this, a little thought goes a long way, and a little thoughtlessness will have you out on your ass in the cold by New Years.

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